How is your relationship?

This is a good time of the year to evaluate your relationship with your signifigant other. Ask yourself a few questions:
1. Do you and your partner communicate openly?
2. Are you able to disagree and resolve conflict?
3. Do you spend time together having fun?
4. When did you last have a romantic evening alone?
5. When was the last time you and your partner complimented each other?

"Each one of a affectionate couple may ... be willing to die for one another, yet unwilling to say the agreeable word at the right moment." by George Meredith

Personal Goals

It is the second month of a new year. Have you reviewed your goals for this year? Many people start out a new year with new goals, dreams and even resolutions. We have learned through reseach that most individuals have great beginnings, but as time passes, their motivation slows down and these dreams, goals and resolutions begin to fade away. A few of the things coaching has helped people with is to develope a clear vision, set realistic goals within an achievable time frame and to have support and accountablility to ensure sucess. Explore some options with Debra and see if your dreams become a reality.

Career Choices

Long before becoming a Life Coach, I considered making fine arts or teaching my career. I taught for several years and enjoyed it but didn't feel that it was my life's work. I also pursued art, both commercial design and painting but these didn't sustain me. I finally realized that what I really loved doing was helping people make changes that would enhance their lives.
If you find yourself feeling unsure of your career or work, these are some helpful questions to ask yourself:
What do I want?
What are the benefits of changing my work path?
Do I have realisitic expectations?
Do I have the resources and support to make a change?
A Life Coach can help you make decisions as well as be instrumental in supporting actions that will make change possible. I will be talking about career choices on June 28 between 10:30 and 11:00 AM on WSYR TV Chanel 9- Bridge Street. If you can't tune in at that time, you can download the segment by going to the WSYR TV Channel 9 website and click on Bridge Street.
We will have more blogs on this topic in the future.

Say "no"

Do you sometimes feel that your life has become too hectic? Do you go to bed exhausted and wake up tired? Perhaps you are never saying "no".
Many of us have learned that to say no is rude, it means you're not a "team player", you're selfish, uncaring, etc. It may be helpful to relalize that when you can't say no you are saying yes to something else. Saying yes may not always be the best choice. Suppose you have a co-worker who continually asks you for help; you get behind in your own work and then have to work late. If you continue to say yes to this situation you may be finding less time for yourself, family, etc. It may leave you feeling powerless and angry. Saying no would alleviate the stress in your life that this co-worker has intensified. If your life is feeling too full of things you have to do and that you can never relax and take a break you may want to look around and see where you might benefit by learning to say no.
A useful tip- say no first-then explain. Sometimes if we start explaining first we end up saying yes.

Friendship

As I was walking with friends this weekend I began realizing how different friends have enriched my life.
When I was pregnant with my son, I became friendly with a woman who had two young children. I learned so much from her about infants and mothering, she supported me when I was anxious and helped me laugh and enjoy my baby. I also was friends with a woman who had a son the same age as mine. We shared experiences, fears and fun throughout their growing up. They are both adults now and out on their own but we still remain friends who have an invaluable shared history. Early in my career I became friendly with one of my supervisors. I learned a great deal from her professionally and over the years we have become friends. I can confide in her and know she will be kind and helpful. I have also become friends with a younger woman who is single and focussed on her career. She is also always trying something new-a few months ago she started taking classical guitar lesson. She was instrumental in helping me get back to my painting.
Sometimes I don't seem to have any time for friends but when I think of all the joy they bring me I know I have to find the time. Are your friends important? Make time for them.

Procrastination

Sometimes when I'm thinking about making a change I hear a small voice in my head saying "you don't have to do that now,it can wait until tomorrow or next week or whenever." It may be something fun or it may be something I'm resposible for but the more I procrastinate the harder it seems that I'll ever be able to do it. Guilt kicks in and taking any action seems impossible.
For a long time, I've been wanting to get back to painting but something always seemed to stop me- it isn't realy a necessity, I don't have the time, I should be doing other things, etc. Then I started asking myself some questions: What do you really want to do? Can you find time in your schedule? What might help you get started. As I began answering these questions, I realized that taking a class would really get me going- it worked!
If you find yourself procrastination you might want to ask the following questions:
What do I really want?
Is it realistic?
How will I feel if I do it?
What small step can I take to start?
Contact us for more tips- a coach can help solve procrastination.

The Challenge of Change

Have you considered what happens each time you try out a new activity? Sometimes our attempts at change come easy and fall into place, but most often we have to work at it and practice each new skill we learn. It's summer and golf is a summer activity that I have been trying to learn. It's been challenging, fun, humorous, and frustrating at times. Although I believe it is like learning to follow through with any goal we set. Learning "the game" involves a desire, a commitment, some education, a trainer or coach, support, and practice and follow though to be good at it. I believe it is the same as any goal we set for ourselves. It can be accomplished with a desire to accept the challenge of change, and to believe in yourself that you can do it. Set a fun goal for yourself this summer, get some support, practice, and follow thorough for success.